Release
by Arasulgil
Summary: Cedric's death affected Cho in ways she couldn't have thought possible. So when grief closed in on her, she tried to escape. At least for one night. Written for the TIWSC forum and the V/V challenge on HPFC.


A/N: **TIWSC**

School/Year:Beauxbatons, Year 5

Word count:1 532

Theme: Elixir to Induce Euphoria

Prompts:(m)Drizzling/Rain,Muffliato

**HPFC:****Vices/Virtues Challenge:**Bigotry,Reverence,Padma/Cho,Astronomy Tower, 1 of Merlin's boots,"I never knew that about you.",someone falls at least 6 stories

* * *

Cho crept out of the Ravenclaw common room at eleven-thirty one gloomy, desolate Saturday night.

Strictly speaking, this was rule-breaking: to be out of bed after hours. But as long as no prefects noticed, she was safe as she could be in such a circumstance. Besides, this counted as urgent-for her, at least.

The Astronomy tower was empty that night, thankfully. It looked different now, strangely, even though they usually used it at night: it was dark, dank, slightly musty. But that was one of the old Ravenclaw sayings: the world looked different when your moods were.

That was exactly why she had come here.

Cedric…it hurt to think about him. But she had no other choice. The grief drove her to despair, finding its way into the very corners of her soul and lodging there. It didn't let her work, kept her awake at night and was starting to show. Her grades were dropping, and so was her Quidditch performance. If she lost her place on the team, she would never be able to forgive herself.

This was where she had come to grieve, because, well….her last happy moments with him had been here, the last time he'd been himself, before the intense stress, nervousness and chaos of the Tournament had started affecting him. The only memory of him that hadn't made her cry…yet.

~ooOOOoo~

"What was that about?" she'd asked him, as he ran back from talking to Harry after the Yule Ball.

"Nothing," he'd grinned, that same ruggedly honest smile that attracted his many friends.

It was not just that he looked good (although that was a part of it).When she looked at him, she knew she could trust him, that he would be there for her, _always. _Now, Harry…..she wasn't so sure.

They'd come here, to the tower, bringing hot chocolate from the feast with them. The night had been cold and it had been snowing outside, but he'd gone back to his dormitory and brought a blanket; they just lay there, staring up at the stars. After a minute or two, he'd tenderly put his arm around her, and they'd fallen asleep locked in a gentle embrace.

They'd woken up at five-thirty the following morning and watched the sun rise, enjoying the last moments of peace, before he departed with a smile and a kiss on her cheek.

That had been the best night of her life.

Lost in her memories, she faintly heard the tower's door open. She jumped to her feet, scrambling to come up with an excuse, until she saw the figure at the door.

It was Padma.

"Are you okay?" Padma asked, walking closer.

Cho tried to reply, but found that it was nearly impossible.

"Muffliato." Padma cast a spell on the door, then put her arm around Cho. "Is it about Cedric?" she asked softly.

Cho nodded slowly.

"It's okay," Padma said, as both of them sat down. "I know it's hard, but he's happy now. He definitely didn't deserve it, but it wasn't your fault."

"Maybe it was," Cho said.

"What do you mean?"

"He did it for me," she whispered. "We were talking about it, and I said I would have liked to take part, but my parents didn't want me to. He said he'd do it for me. I didn't want him to risk his life, but they said it would be safer…"

"They did say that," Padma said. "You couldn't have known that You-Know-Who would kill him. Things happen, Cho. We can't control them. It _wasn't your fault."_

'But maybe I could have stopped him," she said. "I'm a Ravenclaw; I should have thought of some solution."

"Stop it," Padma said. "Don't be a bigot towards yourself, Cho. You need to accept that it wasn't your fault and move on."

"I'm not a bigot."

"Until you accept that it wasn't your fault, you are. I'm a Ravenclaw too, you know."

Cho would have relished sinking deeper into her well of misery, but Padma wouldn't allow her, she knew. Rock-stubborn, Ravenclaw Padma.

"Did you even know him?" Cho said, her frustration coming out in a sudden explosion. "You have never in your entire life spoken to him, have you?"

Padma tried to reply. "No, but…"

"But what?" Cho burst out. "You didn't know him even a quarter as well as I did: I doubt you even knew his name before the Triwizard Tournament! Yet you tell me to forget him, the person I loved more than anyone else. You tell me to move on, but that means forgetting, and I don't want to forget. You tell me that he's happy where he is, but I know him, and know that he liked being alive!"

"Knew him," Padma softly corrected.

Cho teared up._ That hurt._

"I'm sorry, that was insensitive," Padma admitted ruefully. "But it's true."

Seeing Cho on the point of crying, Padma stood up. "I can see you need some alone time," she said. "I'm probably making it worse…I'll leave you alone for ten minutes and stand guard at the door." She walked off rather undecidedly.

Cho let it flow.

~ooOOOoo~

"Do you know _why _I've never spoken to him?" Padma said softly, returning from guarding the door.

Cho shook her head.

"I was nervous to," Padma admitted. "At that time, he was a hero, Cedric Diggory, a great Triwizard champion. He was so handsome….why would he want to talk to someone like me?"

It started drizzling outside: Cho could hear the soft, fuzzy pitter-patter of the raindrops on the Tower's glass roof. Somehow, it comforted her.

"I admired him… I think I revered him, just as most girls did," Padma continued. "I wanted to talk to him, to find out how it felt being a Triwizard champion, because I knew I would never be good enough to be one, but I always got scared; just as I walked near him, I would forget what I wanted to say. That's the truth, Cho, and I wish I had been braver, but that was how I felt, and still feel."

"I never knew that about you," Cho said, slightly abashed. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, but it still hurts."

"It will for some time," Padma said, with undeniable Ravenclaw wisdom. "But I think we are strong enough to live with it."

"We?" Cho put in.

"You're not going through this alone."

For the first time in months, Cho felt a real smile spread over her face.

~ooOOOoo~

They stood up as the door burst open. _Again? _Cho wondered. _How unlucky can a person be in one lifetime?_

The intruder turned out to be a very dirty and scraggy-looking cat, which carried a boot in its mouth. As soon as it entered the room, however, it started to shake its head and meow in utter confusion.

Casting a quick silencing spell on it, Cho turned to Padma. "Isn't that Mrs. Norris? What's happened to her?"

"It must be the charm I cast on the door," Padma said. "I heard Potter and the Granger girl who's in Parvati's dormitory using it to produce results like this."

"Well, Filch will be here soon," Cho said.

Just then, the cat decided to attach itself to Padma's foot.

"Ow!" she exclaimed, kicking it hard.

The girls watched with a mixture of relief and terror as the cat, due to the force of Padma's unintentional kick, practically flew out of one of the Tower's slits that were meant to be windows.

"Oops," Padma giggled.

"That cat must have fallen at least eight stories down," Cho said, trying to peer through the slit. "This tower's anything but short."

"Don't bother looking for it," Padma said. "In this rain, you won't be able to see a Quidditch player, let alone a cat."

"What's this?" Cho said, picking up the item –a boot-that the cat had deposited on the ground.

She gasped, for inside, under a flap that the cat had torn, was the mark of Merlin.

"Padma?" she called, showing her the boot. "Tell me I'm seeing things."

Padma looked at it. "I honestly wish I could, but it is his mark. Do you suppose there's even a slight chance that it actually is Merlin's?"

"It could be," Cho replied. "Knowing the number of items Filch has confiscated, anything's possible."

"Maybe the most recent owner didn't notice it," Padma reasoned. "It was hidden under this flap, after all."

"Is there a name on it?"

"No," Padma said. "I think we'd best leave it here. We don't know where in Britain the dratted cat got this boot from, and we might do more harm than good trying to return it to the owner. Chances are, the cat knows who it belongs to, or Filch uses it. He's a Squib: I doubt he knows what Merlin's mark looks like."

"Good idea," Cho agreed.

As they heard Filch running out to rescue his beloved cat from the heavy, icy rain, Padma and Cho raced back to Ravenclaw Tower.

Maybe Cedric's death still hurt. But she could carry on, and honour his memory in the process. There were things to live for, things to laugh at and things to experience.

Grief had released her.


End file.
